Lightness

Milan Kundera in his wonderfully thought provoking book 'The Unbearable Lightness of Being', talks about life being so light since we cannot repeat our actions. If we could repeat them he claims, everything would be so heavy, we would be trapped in a cycle we cannot escape. The transient nature of things he says makes everything meaningless and allows us to live freely since everything will pass anyway.

I find myself feeling the opposite. Since I have one life to live, I feel the weight of my decisions. Without knowing any unforeseen consequences, I feel every step I take is heavier with the weight of the responsibility. There was another book I read called 'The Bowl is Already Broken'. I feel like I am constantly afraid of breaking the bowl.

I also feel the heaviness of a wish to make something out of nothing thus be creative. It is not a light feeling for me, at least not initially. Up to the point that I start creating, everything feels heavy. When I finally begin to do stuff instead of worry about what to do, I feel lighter as if I am unloading a huge weight off my mind. When I am writing, making things, working on yoga sequences, cooking and creating my own recipes, I feel more free and alive and light than I ever feel in a daily routine. And the 'lightness' I feel, is not a la-la-la happy feeling, it is more like being content.

What do you think?