No more fighting!

I re-read my sentiments, what a whining person I have become. I should be ashamed of myself, but I am not. That used to be the problem in the past, now I know there is no shame in living like you like. So I decided to write some more, it is not like killing time, time dies on its own anyway. It is more of a relief really, to get somethings out of one's chest. I used to write more. Then I forgot it somewhere. Now I pick bits and pieces. We'll see where they take me.
I now realize this is where I belong, this time, this job, this life. It is a sensation that had been there behind the confusion. I thought that this is not it, everything should be different. Now I feel this is the only way it should be and it will take me whereever I want to go. It is about accepting and not fighting with myself any more. Saves time and energy. Then you are supposed to take one step at a time and learn the things you want to learn. There is much to learn, to enjoy and feel. That's the joy I have been craving.